Aspudden Agnostics

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raising of the wrist,

Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

etc.